Roommates X Fantasies X Good Good Night
by tokyoblackbird
Summary: Happiness! Leorio's fantasies have finally come true! At least one of them is looking forward to a sleepless night. The other may just be scarred for life...Unless he likes it? Mysterious episode 18 bedroom scene finally explained.
1. Foreplay, Sort Of

**Roommates X Fantasies X Good Good Night**

(Based off of Episode 18 of the original anime.)

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 1: Foreplay, Sort Of<br>**_

_Come live in my heart, and pay no rent._*

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><p>Talk about a stroke of luck. Not only had Leorio fooled a stupid, obnoxious ninja, several nights' worth of sexual fantasies was just about to come true. He was going to share a room with that blonde-haired, blue-eyed, slender-framed, pretty-boy: Kurapika of the Kuruta clan. A.K.A. Kurapika of the lovely, tight ass.<p>

God.

The things they could do made Leorio drool thinking about them. Talk together. Eat together. Dress together. _Un_dress together. Bathe—

Together—

Leorio's eyes rolled up into the back of his head.

_"Oh, Leorio, don't look! I'm embarrassed!"_

_ Kurapika stood with his back to Leorio. He yanked nervously at the waistband of his pants. Shooting a coy glance over his shoulder, he blushed. _

_ "It's okay," Leorio said. "If you're not ready, I'll wait. I'll wait for you."_

_ "No, I am! I am ready!" Kurapika's voice cracked with desperate desire. "I want you badly, Leorio. Ever since I saw you, I've wanted you…" _

_He fell against Leorio's chest, his fingers clutching at Leorio's shirt. _

"—_inside me," he whispered. "But-I don't know why—I'm sorry I'm—scared—"_

_ Leorio ran his hands up and down the boy's bare back, entranced by the delicate bones under that fragile veil of skin. Gently, he kissed the boy's forehead, his eyelid, his ear, his cheek. He tasted sweat and tears. He inhaled the scent of his skin. _

_If only Kurapika knew how much he smelled like sex.  
><em>

"_Do you want me to—help you?" _

_ "Yes…Leorio…please...help me…"_

_ Slowly, Leorio brought his fingers to Kurapika's face and pulled him into a slow, lingering kiss. He felt the boy's lips open under his, tasted the sweet, hesitant tongue. _

_ "Leorio…" Kurapika breathed. _

_ Leorio's hands wandered lazily down the boy's neck, caressed his shoulders, brushed those small, delicate nipples, and began to slide Kurapika's pants off those narrow hips. _

_ "Kurapika…I love you…"_

_ He gave to boy's ass a firm squeeze. _

"Oh baby." Leorio shook his head hard to clear it. Smoothing back his hair, he took a deep breath and opened the door to their room.

"Yo," he said suavely. _It's me, shawty. _

Kurapika pulled a shirt on over his head and turned to look at Leorio dispassionately, a sadly reverse version of Leorio's daydream.

"Can't you knock at least?" he said.

"We're roommates, it doesn't matter. Hanzo wanted to switch, and well," Leorio raised his eyebrows significantly. "You and I are _good friends_, aren't we?"

"Courtesy is required, even between good friends," Kurapika replied, completely missing the subtext.

What a square. He was probably just stressed out from all that unresolved sexual tension. It was hard enough surviving shape-shifting beasts, Hisoka, and death-matches with convicts, not getting laid once throughout was sure to make a man crabby.

Wasn't Kurapika lucky, then? Here was Leorio, more than willing to satisfy Kurapika's cravings.

As if Kurapika could read his friend's mind, he headed for the door.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"You don't need to inquire," Kurapika said. Looking coyly away to hide his desire, Leorio thought.

(I wish Leorio wouldn't look at me like that, Kurapika thought. It's kind of...

...creepy.)

The door clicked shut.

"Yup, he's definitely in love with me." Leorio smiled to himself and fell back into bed, slipping a hand happily into his pants. "I can't wait for tonight."

("What disgusting vibes Leorio was giving off," Kurapika muttered to himself. "I wonder if he's drunk.")

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

*Quote by Samuel Lover


	2. Sparks Fly, Blonde Pyro

**Roommates X Fantasies X Good Good Night**

(Based off of Episode 18 of the original anime.)

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><p><em><strong>Chapter 2: <strong>_**Sparks Fly, Blonde Pyro**

Love is a grave mental disease.*

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><p>Leorio, still unsatisfied and horny, went searching for for his gorgeous roommate.<p>

He walked in on Kurapika drenching a shipwreck with gasoline.

"Cleaning up?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Is this the Kuruta ship?" Kurapika had found a famous family heirloom in a Kuruta shipwreck earlier that day when everyone was diving for treasure. Leorio figured that if Kurapika was anything to go by, Kurutas did not shipwreck often, so this ratty galleon must be it.

In fact, Leorio realized, this was probably the closest he would ever get to meeting Kurapika's folks. He was tempted to take a look around, assure them that Kurapika was in good hands, have a quiet chat about marriage, but pyromania seemed like a rather private hobby.

"I was worried about you," Leorio said cautiously, "but I guess I'm just getting in the way. See you…"

"Leorio."

Leorio froze. His name on those lips was a potent spell.

"Can you…lend me a light?"

"Will matches do?" And then Leorio tossed the blonde pyromaniac a book of matches, while they stood together in a gasoline-drenched, wooden room.

Naturally, Kurapika set everything on fire.

"Eyes of fire," the boy muttered darkly, pacing about the flames, "Eyes of fire."

_Gosh, he's cute_, Leorio thought, gazing at his friend fondly.

"When the Kuruta become passionate, their eyes become scarlet," Kurapika explained.

Passionate?

_Leorio kissed Kurapika so hard, his lips buzzed, numb with touching. _

"_Ohhhhh," Kurapika moaned. "Ohhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh! Harder Leorio, harder! Ahhhhh!"_

_The bed-springs squeaked like a colony of angry hamsters chanting their rage in one powerful, reedy voice.  
><em>

_Sloppily kissing Kurapika's jaw, Leorio threaded his fingers through the boy's hair as Kurapika wrapped his legs around Leorio's hips. Beads of sweat glittered on Kurapika's skin; they tasted, miraculously, exactly like strawberry gummy bears. _

"_Leorio…" Kurapika gasped. "I'm—I'm coming…!"_

_With a final manly thrust of Leorio's hips, Kurapika screamed like a woman and things were suddenly stickier between them. By the light of the afterglow, Leorio gazed at his lover. The boy's lips were parted, his pale face flushed with pleasure, and his eyes, though half-lidded, were clearly scarlet._

_Scarlet with _passion_ for his lover. _

Leorio felt a little breathless.

Kurapika was pushing against his chest and it felt really good.

Though there was an awful amount of smoke...

"Leorio! Get off the ship! Why are you always so ridiculously…?" And then Leorio felt himself rise and fly away from the smoke and flames to higher ground. Kurapika unceremoniously dumped him on the rocks.

A bellowing cry rang through the cove, startling birds to flight.

Leorio rose to his feet. "That's the burial steam whistle," he said, matter-of-factly. He did not wonder how it knew to sound for Kurapika's dead. With Kurapika, he expected the skies to grow red, the very moon to bleed, if Kurapika sorrowed.

Kurapika was magic…

…Even if he was a little weird.

As if on cue, Kurapika proceeded to throw the priceless Kuruta family heirloom far, far out to sea. It twinkled a melancholy farewell.

"I'll get the Phantom Brigade with these hands," Kurapika said. "I'll get all of the stolen eyes back."

Leorio wondered what Kurapika would do with all those eyeballs afterward. Return them to their owners? Talk to them? Bury them in little mahogany coffins? Drench them in gasoline and burn them too?

It all seemed rather futile, Leorio thought. An immature, little-boy's dream of revenge.

But all he said was, "You'll need to be a Hunter to do that. You'll be a wonderful hunter."

Later, whenever Leorio thought of Kurapika, he saw the boy as he did that moment: In the darkening bay, looking up at him with a small, shy smile.

If he concentrated on that image long enough, he could almost feel the tug of Kurapika's fingertips on his sleeve, urging him to follow along, wherever they were going, together, into the dark.

"Thank you, Leorio," Kurapika said.

(_Does that mean you'll let me have sex with you? _Leorio wondered.)

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

* quote by Plato.

I think there's one more chapter in this baby. ^^ You know, the most slashed moment in all of HxH history:

When Leorio walks out of the shower and Kurapika screams?


End file.
